Vampires, Werewolves and sparkles?
by Ziggurat Rolsovitch
Summary: WARNING! Edward bashing. Don't like? Don't look. Kaname and Zero are at it again. As the fight rages on, who stumbles upon them on his adventure to run away form Bella? Edward!  I have nothing against VK or Twilight. I honestly love them both. No flames.


Disclaimer: I don't own VK or Twilight.

No flames. Flames will be used to cook this marshmallow. You will only be feeding me yummy marshmallows if you flame me. This is only a joke. I like both Vampire Knight and Twilight.

Serious Edward bashing. Be warned! Again be WARNED everyone is totally OOC.

XxXxX

Kaname was in another glaring contest with Zero. Yuuki sighed from the bench she sat at. She looked back and forth, from vampire to vampire.

"Kaname… we're going to be late." She warned, hands on under her chin to support her head.

"Not, now my love. I am currently in a deadlock. If I look away… I lose!" Kaname said, eyes taking on a red tint.

"Yeah, quiet Yuuki. I'm about to win!" Zero said also.

"Uh-huh." she said.

"She's mine." Kaname growled.

"I already had her blood. Lots of times." Zero mocked. "And it WAS delicious."

"WHY YOU! ARG!" Kaname pounced on Zero and the two began rolling across the ground hitting each other.

Yuuki sighed again. "Here it comes."

"Oh, my gosh! Aren't you going to stop them?" Maria asked in shock.

"No." Yuuki told her. "They do this ALL the time."

"Who wins?"

"Nobody."

"How?"

"They just keep fighting until they get tired and both give up. Stating 'this isn't over Kuran'." Yuuki tried to mimicked Zero and Kaname (unsuccessfully). "And 'we'll see Kiryu.' "

"But aren't you and Kaname suppose to attend Headmaster's ball tonight?"

" 'Suppose to' being the operative word," Yuuki sighed and scratched her head. "Gee… I guess we're going to be really late. I hope head-Father… isn't too upset."

They both heard a loud splash and saw the two had fallen into the pool.

"This could be interesting." Maria commented, tilting her head to the side. Both of the guys jumped out of the water wincing at their wet clothes.

"This is your fault Kuran!" Zero scolded.

"ME? You're the one trying to steal my-… Yuuki." Kaname argued. He of course contained himself from refusing to Yuuki as 'his' again.

All vampires looked up suddenly at the intruder. There was silence for a few moments, before Zero cut in and stepped forward.

"Who the heck are you? You're not a student from Cross Academy."

"This isn't Italy." The strange man said. Everyone looked at each other.

"No. This is Japan." Kaname corrected.

"Then I really took a wrong turn." The man let out a shuddering sob. "I should just let them kill me now."

"Hey, pal! You didn't answer my question. Who the hell are you!"

"Edward Cullen." He answered. "I got lost apparently when I was running away from my girlfriend to Italy."

"Yeah… well Colon-" Zero started.

"Cullen." Edward corrected.

"Whatever." Zero snapped. "It would be best if you left. Right now. and… hey… you got something' on you. Did you spill… glitter on yourself?"

"No. I'm a vampire." He said dramatically.

"You? A vampire?" Kaname asked and snickered. "You're no vampire… this…" He pointed to Zero. "Is a vampire… and so is this beautiful creature." He then pointed to Yuuki.

"Hey!" Maria yelled.

"Oh, and Maria." He added then.

"Thank you." Maria said, crossing her arms unhappily.

"I am a vampire! See!" Edward removed his shirt dramatically then. Crickets chirped somewhere in the distance.

"PLEASE! Real vampire's don't sparkle!" Zero said. "Maybe if you stopped flying around with the pixies you'd be more believable."

"Yes. I agree completely, Zero." Kaname said, nodding. "Vampires are blood thirsty creatures of the night! We do not sparkle."

"BUT ME AND MY FAMILY DO SPARKLE!" He sobbed.

Zero and Kaname glanced at each other with disbelief in their expressions. They then looked at the emotional 'vampire' in front of them. Yuuki and Maria had their jaws dropped.

"This guy is worse then Yuuki on her period." Kaname said.

"Hey!" Yuuki yelled. "Kaname, I'd slap you, but you'd probably like it."

He sighed contently. "You know me too well."

"Ummm… excuse me… can we get back to this sparkling freak?" Zero asked.

"Right." Kaname said then, contemplating what to do.

"Who are you?" Edward asked then.

"WHO! I am Kaname Kuran a pureblood vampire. King of the vampires race!" He stated.

"Me and my family never hurt anybody. We only eat animals." Edward stated.

"What! Why not just take a blood tablet?" Yuuki asked, stepping up from behind Kaname. Edward paused and stared at her.

"Ya' know… you remind me of someone… but I just can't put a name to her now." Edward said. Both Zero and Kaname gritted their teeth.

"Hey! Are you making a move on Yuuki now?" Zero asked, pulling his gun. "Can I shoot this guy now?"

"For once I totally agree with you. Shoot him, Zero, shoot him." Kaname told him. Edward took off running and Zero opened fire.

"Yay! Shoot him in the sparkly butt, Zero!" Maria piped up, grabbing Zero's arm.

"Ha. That'll teach that sparkling freak to come to our academy." Zero said triumphantly. Kaname and Zero high-fived.

"Alright!"

"Ahhh! Who was that?" Headmaster came running. "A new student! Does he want to enroll?"

"NO!" Everyone yelled.

XxXxX

END

Hahaha. I couldn't resist. ^^ I like making fun of Edward. Don't get me wrong. I liked the books, but I hated the movies. Robert is just a werido. I can't stand him.  
>NO FLAMES.<p> 


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